My site was nominated for Best Humor Blog!

Wednesday February 06th 2008, 8:24 am
Filed under: General, jerks., election

I’m tired of people saying things like:

“Oh, I didn’t vote because I just don’t care,” or “I don’t identify with any of the candidates.”

Bullshit.

Who REALLY identifies with any of these politicians? Stop being lazy and do some reading. That’s a lame excuse.

You people know the issues of this nation and there are plenty. You have ideals you hold dearly, don’t you? Do you want to keep those ideals? I’m sure you do. And I’m sure, while you’d never admit it, there’s been times you’ve been angry with America and there’s been times where America has been a the place you loved and never wanted to leave.

So, stop making excuses. I didn’t even vote for the person I identified with the most; I voted for the person I thought had the best shot at beating those Republican clowns because this country needs change.

Don’t you dare complain about this country or politics or anything if you don’t vote or don’t find out what the issues are. Yes, there’s so much empty rhetoric in all this and empty promises and whatever other bullshit may be spewing from potential nominees but you have been endowed with the right to vote, so fucking use it, pinhead.

Ah.

AH.

That’s all.

I don’t think I’ve written anything angry on this blog before today.

Cheers.



Seinfeld in a cab.
Thursday November 15th 2007, 8:57 am
Filed under: Stories, jerks.

Cab Driver:  Where to?

Seinfeld: Are you kidding me?  Do you know who I am?

Cab Driver: No.  Where can I take you?

Seinfeld: Unbelievable.  Did you do research before this?  [leans head out window] Can someone get this guy a resume?

Cab Driver: West village?

Seinfeld: Are you–oh.  West Village, yeah.  Sure.  That might be nice.

[they start driving]

Cab Driver: Oh!  I do know you.  You had that TV show canceled on NBC.

[Seinfeld hangs himself in the back of the cab.  Cab driver notices and puts on Elton John’s I Guess That’s Why They Call It The Blues. ]



Let’s build bridges together!
Thursday November 09th 2006, 7:37 am
Filed under: Stories, People I hate., jerks.

fileserver.aspx.jpegHi, I am on your board of trustees.  I am going to laugh at whatever you say.

trustee-denning.jpg  Great.  Hey how about that new merger we’re going to–

fileserver.aspx.jpeg HAHA!  WOW!  You shoud be in the papers.

trustee-denning.jpg I am very hilarious!  My children agree!
fileserver.aspx.jpegWe are very happy to be white!

trustee-denning.jpg True!

fileserver.aspx.jpegI will wed one of your daughters!
trustee-denning.jpg You are the proper man she needs!  You won’t even have to ask!
fileserver.aspx.jpegI bet she is great in a bedroom!
trustee-denning.jpg Try everything once–I do!
fileserver.aspx.jpegIt is so great to laugh.

trustee-denning.jpg Hey!  Let’s have cigars in our place of business because we own it!

fileserver.aspx.jpegYou are telling the truth and filling stereotypes!

trustee-denning.jpg Art imitates life!

fileserver.aspx.jpegBack slaps!

trustee-denning.jpg Should we make deals?

fileserver.aspx.jpegWho cares!?  Burn money!

trustee-denning.jpg Eat expensive steaks!!!!

fileserver.aspx.jpegtrustee-denning.jpg WHAT FULL LIVES WE LIVE.

[shudder]



i’m really thankful for friends
Saturday November 04th 2006, 8:32 am
Filed under: Stories, General, jerks.

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us

that send me pictures of their bloodied fingers they slammed in doors with email subject lines like “WOW! CHECK OUT THIS COOL PIC!”

really.



Tuesday October 31st 2006, 7:20 am
Filed under: General, jerks.

If someone asks me what I’m dressed as today I’ll probably say:

“I’m dressed up as my HATRED for you.”

And they’ll laugh and laugh and laugh. And I’ll break glass with my fists!


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Filed under: Stories, People I hate., jerks.

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