My site was nominated for Best Humor Blog!

Monday April 30th 2007, 10:13 am
Filed under: Stories

3. I wish an actual Beetle would come up to me so I could talk shit to its face.

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Poisonous ham sandwich vs. dead guy with an electric sword…
Monday April 30th 2007, 10:10 am
Filed under: FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!

Who wins?


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Thursday April 26th 2007, 6:51 am
Filed under: Stories

[Fade in.  Opening credit sequence.  Dramatic shots of cops apprehending dudes.  We can only see everything from the waist up.  David Hyde Pierce slams his hands on a desk and the title pops up onscreen: “Boner Patrol.  Starring: David Hyde Pierce.” Suddenly, Hyde-Pierce sees a slate in the corner that the assistant director has been holding.  Realization that he’s on a show called “Boner Patrol” kicks in.]

David Hyde-Pierce: Wait– wait, let’s cut, hang on.

Director: [running up to him.]  What, what?  We have deadlines!

David Hyde-Pierce: Is this show really called “Boner Patrol?”

Joe Rogan  / Head Writer: Yeah, we apprehend people with our dicks!

[a lot of high fives go around.]

David Hyde-Pierce: I don’t think I can do this anymore…

[he takes his badge off, slowly, sadly.  Joe Rogan starts the slow-clap.]

David Hyde-Pierce: No, don’t do that, that’s stupid.  I hate it.  I hate that.  It’s a shit-thing.

[Joe Rogan flicks his fake-plaster-cock.  Oh– right.  All the cops have giant, fake, plastic boners that shoot bullets.  David Hyde-Pierce realizes he has one on.]

David HP Computer: Oh, Christ.  [Also, someone has rested a coffee mug on it.  THAT IS HILARIOUS.]

[Director starts a slow clap.]

HP Laser Jet: No, seriously, I hate that.  Stop it.  Stop.  Stop IT.  [as he swings around his plaster dick knocks over so many files and ruins so many lives.]

David Pierced-Hyde: [slowly un-velcro-ing his ghost penis.]  Goodbye, Boner Patrol.  [he slowly walks, sullenly away.]

Joe Rogan: Wait!  Wait–

David: What, what is it?

Joe Rogan: Why is your name hyphenated?

Dungeon Hut-Penelope: [turns into a race car and drives away.]

Joe Rogan: I guess we’ll never know.  [beat]  Let’s eat his junk!

[NO!]



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Wednesday April 25th 2007, 6:53 am
Filed under: Stories


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Thursday April 19th 2007, 4:10 pm
Filed under: Stories

Dragon Knife?


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Thursday April 19th 2007, 4:01 pm
Filed under: Sketches


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Tuesday April 17th 2007, 12:19 pm
Filed under: Stories

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Hey man missing your left leg, what would you like for your birthday?
Monday April 16th 2007, 12:18 pm
Filed under: Stories

Man Missing Leg:  What do you think?  I want my fucking leg back.  Jesus Christ.


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Monday April 16th 2007, 12:09 pm
Filed under: seriously radical jokes

A ROBOT walks into a ROBOT bar and asks for a drink.  The bartender says, “Sure,” and serves the ROBOT a drink.  because it’s a robot bar.

A Rabbi, a Priest and a Buddhist Monk are all at a bus station.  They get on separate buses to separate destinations because they need to get home for the weekend– you know to get away from it all.

Knock Knock?
Who is there?
The Mailman.
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The actual Mailman.  Here is your mail.
[door opens]
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Sure.  Bye.
[door closes.  they go on with their LIVES]


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